Heartbreaker 101

Heartbreaker 101: How to Heal and Move On After Breaking Someone's Heart
By Lisa Steadman, The Relationship Journalist

Given the choice, most people say they would much rather break up with someone than get broken up with. But if you've recently initiated a breakup, you know how tough it can be.

Just because you summoned the courage to end your dead-end relationship doesn't mean you're not feeling a little heartache yourself (or experiencing some guilt for causing your ex heartache). But fear not, my brave friend. You are not alone. Following are some do's and don'ts that should make moving on that much easier.

Don't: Call, email, text or visit your ex in a moment of weakness

Even though you brought on the breakup, there may still be times when you miss your ex. A song might come on the radio that reminds you of them. Something funny will happen and you'll want to share it. Or maybe you're just having a bad day and want to reach out and reconnect.

STOP RIGHT THERE. Missing your ex is one thing. Contacting your ex is a no-no. In fact, reconnecting with your ex is the absolute worst thing you can do right now. So before you have that moment of weakness, remove your ex's number from your cell phone, delete their email address, and take them off your social networking contacts. (Right now.)

Do: Ask friends for help

Because you initiated the breakup, your friends may not know that you're hurting. But if you are, it's important to ask for help, a.k.a. recruit your boo hoo crew... You'll want to choose a least three friends who know you well enough to know when you need comfort versus when you need a kick in the pants.

Your Boo-Hoo Crew should always know (and be able to remind you) why your ex wasn't good for you then, and why they're definitely not worth pining over now.

Don't: Second-guess your decision

After a breakup, it's all too easy to second-guess yourself and your choices. Did I do the right thing? Should I have given him/her another chance? Maybe there was more I could do to make it work... The truth is, you can make yourself crazy second-guessing your decision. But what's done is done. You had your reasons, made your decision, and now it's time to accept and move on.

Do: See your breakup for what it really is

You may not know it right now, but in ending your relationship with the wrong person, you're paving the way to meet the right one. Chances are good that you won't meet Mr. or Ms. Right overnight, but that doesn't mean the breakup was a bad decision.

By walking away from that wrong relationship, you're headed towards a life that's more honest and authentic for you. What better way to eventually attract your perfect partner than by living and loving your own life?

Don't: Badmouth your ex

In the aftermath of a breakup it's all too easy to badmouth your ex, spilling their dirty little secrets to anyone who will listen. Don't do it. Badmouthing your ex may feel good momentarily, but the fallout from those harmless snarky comments can be detrimental to your healing process, not to mention your dating future. Breakup karma is a bitch you don't want coming after you, so zip the lip and move on with dignity.

Do: Become a breakup rock star

And speaking of moving on, did you know that you can not only survive your breakup but actually thrive? By applying the lessons you learned from your last relationship, and refining what you want out of life and eventually from your perfect partner, you have the chance to reclaim yourself and become the ultimate breakup rock star. So go ahead, rock on!

Thanks Lorie for this 2 nice awards.. :)
This is my very first for this blog
and i'm very glad...




I would like to share this awards to:
plasteredboy
prenship and Kengkay

Goodbye... Simple yet one of the hard words.... Goodbye might meant forever.. I might say goodbye but deep inside, my heart says I still want you, I still want to be with you, I always want you around, I need you.. please stay, don't go away... I am hoping and everyday I pray... But if it's really Goodbyes that you want us to have, then there's nothing I can do.. GoodBye... I'll always love you forever...

When you said forever, you meant a few months. When I said forever, I meant every day until I died. When you said always, you meant until you couldn't handle it anymore. When I said always, I meant until time ended. When you said you loved me, you meant I was no different from any other girl. When I said I loved you, I meant I had never felt what I felt for you.

How to Mend Your Broken Heart

Don't Get Down on Yourself

After a breakup, people tend to plummet into a pit of low self-esteem and guilt. You are looking for reasons why the relationship ended, and you start obsessing and blaming yourself. "Maybe I was too hard on her for canceling dinner with my parents" or "Maybe I shouldn't have yelled at him when he came home late without calling."

This kind of negative thinking spirals out of control quickly. You may start feeling you're not attractive enough or funny enough or just plain good enough to be with that person, which isn't true. Sit down. Take a breath. And STOP this negative thinking right now! This isn't to say that you shouldn't reflect on your role in the relationship. Just be kinder to yourself!

Forget About Being Friends

Anything that has the word "friend" in it, forget about. "Friends with benefits," "Just friends" -- just say "No." It's hard to move on when you are still keeping one foot in the past. It's time to rely on your other friends for support and get out there and make new friends. You won't be as quick to accept an invite to a party or call an old high school friend if you are busy with your ex.

Stop Thinking They're "All That"

When a relationship is over, it's easier to think of the good times as opposed to the bad times. The annoying habits and bad character traits seem to recede into the background. All you can think about is the great chemistry and the fun Saturday nights you had going out to your fave Italian restaurant together.

What you're doing is idealizing the relationship now that it's gone. You're turning it into some blockbuster movie romance when at best it was a B movie with mixed reviews. Start looking at it with more objectivity. Remind yourself of the fights you had and the frustration you felt.

Start Dating Again

Post breakup, some people might advise you to work on yourself and forget about the dating scene for a while. And if that's what you feel like doing, no problem. However, this isn't good for everyone and there is nothing wrong with getting back out there sooner rather than later. Emailing a person you met online or going on a dinner date may be just the thing you need to lift your spirits. Of course, this doesn't mean you should dive into anything right away either. Start by getting your feet wet.

Never Lose Hope
When you are hurting after a breakup, it's easy to tell yourself, "I'll never meet anyone this fabulous again" or "I'll never find anyone." But the reality is, you WILL meet someone and, eventually, you will wind up in a better relationship. If this one was healthy and meant to be, you wouldn't be broken up. If you maintain hope and don't give into the hurt, you can pursue and find what you are

-from yahoopersonals

ATag for 2008

I got this tag for the year from the nice friend Emjei. let me try, happy New year everyone!

Here’s the rule: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. At what age do you wish to marry ?
- i used to wish that i would be married at a young age, but i don't know now.. i think it now depends.. when i will become stable maybe that is the time for me to have a family of my own

2. What color do you like most?
- there are lots of them, i depend it on the thing on which it is used... but some would be some shades of brown, green, blue, red..

3. If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
- i wish you never left me, but still i would be happy if you pursue your dreams and be successful... i love you always...

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
- Baguio, i want to live there permanently

5. Which part of you that you hate the most?
- my eyes for crying a lot, and my heart for being so sensitive

6. When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
- cry my heart out

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
- i lose him already... the person whom i loved the most

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
- have my own business

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you. ..
- has a good and loving heart, caring, hardworking

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
- for my future "other half" , i want him to be true to his feelings, to be true on the love that he felt cause if you truly love, that is forever... so i want him to truly love me forever

11. Till now, what is the moment that you regret the most?
- loving too much.. i just gave all my love and nothing was left for me... :(

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
- liar, not true to his words, people with so much vices

13. What is your ambition?
- to have a nice and happy family of my own and to be stable

14. If you had one wish what would you wish for?
- i want to meet my future husband now whom i will be living with forever, happily...

15. How did you celebrate new year?
- just ate and ate, made noise with family, be with friends and drink..

16. What is the only thing you’ve done in 2007 that you wish won’t happen again on 2008?
- hmmm... i had a break up this 2007, i hope that if i would have a relationship again with someone, this would be forever.. not only this 2008 but for the few years to come... i don't think i can have a relationship this year after what happened.. haha...

17. What is the best gift you can give to someone this year?
- my loving heart, to family, friends and special others

18. Are you afraid of death?

-yes, for now i am...

19. What did you learned in life?

- love truly hurts... life sometimes is unfair...

20. What is you mood right now?

- sad

I am going to forward this tag to Carolyn and Lynn

Had A dream About hiM...

How nice that dream i had this morning. We were very happy together in the fields playing, running, laughing out loud... Everybody was there, everybody knows already... I was happy and so was he... It would have been a very nice dream if we are still together, but sadly.. we're not now... I had mixed feelings after i woke up this morning, first... happy because i really felt that we are together again, the happiness in my dream felt so real, sad when i realized that it was only a dream and it would never happen again, and a feeling of hope that we could be together again someday... :(

A Confession to A Friend

Last night, i made a confession to a friend, this dilemma was somehow related to her. It was about his uncle, who has a family, a seaman.. that was hitting on me!! yes he's hitting on me... forgetting that he had a wife and children. and forgetting that i am just a kid, i mean im too young for him.


My friend's family are really close to me, i treat them all as one of my family too, i'm always at their house, making it as my second home so everyone that is in that house are my friends and i consider them as my family.

This uncle of my friend lived there for a while before going abroad to work as a seaman, and ofcourse as I said I'm always at their place so, I do had some talks with this uncle and treat him as a friend, nothing more.. just ordinary days when i was there.. nothing really bothersome. But when he went abroad, he begun texting me with his roaming number, he says that he's lonely and stuff, can't text his family cause there's no network in his family's place, which is true according to my friend because it's in the province.


At first he called me and says that he has someone that wants to know me, for me its ok because before he went abroad everyone was joking him and stuff saying that he must bring a foreigner home. After sometime, i just realized that he's the one speaking to me in the phone most of the time rather that the other person that wants to speak with me, we mostly had conversations, and he always texts me..for me it's really nothing, just you know being kind cause i treat him as a friend.


.. Then after sometime, in his text he started to say i miss u already and my day is not complete without calling or texting you, i felt weird for this so i started to lessen my texts cause i know something is going on.. i didn't tell it to my friend cause i'm afraid to what will happen... he never stopped, he still calls even if i dont answer it anymore, I really can't take it so one time i tell him straight to the point to stop because this doesn't' look good anymore, it's not good to look at and say other things that make him feel guilty. He said sorry and promised to end it.. i kept this happening for sometime until i had much strength to confess it to my friend.