Had a Break Up? Here are Break Up tips for You | How to mend a Broken Heart

Breaking up... it really melts our poor hearts, our eyes dried out crying... Wanted to move on after a break up? These are few tips that could help you out.

author: Sherry Amatenstein

It's been months since your breakup and your heart's still in a million pieces? You're finding it difficult to eat (or stop eating), sleep, work or think about anything except "How could he leave ... what's wrong with me?"

If this pathetic picture nails you to a lovesick T, here's advice for checking out of Heartbreak Hotel.

1. Let it out, then let it go. Vent, cry, tell your friends for the 15th time how he worshipped the adorable curl of your upper lip. If you don't let your emotions out, they'll fester inside, and so will the louse's memory. So allow yourself one last good wallow. Then stop. Need some affection? Get a substitute object to cuddle. A cute puppy can go a long way toward helping you forget a guy who was a dog.

2. Retrain your heart. You will truly forget your ex once you can literally see him in a new, hunk-free light. It's called creative visualization -- imagining scenes that you want to happen. Close your eyes and remember negative images, like when he had food dribbling off his chin. Racked with rage at his callous behavior? In your mind's eye (only in your mind's eye) make him walk the plank. That should harmlessly blast away those energy-sapping, venomous emotions.


3. Write a relationship profit-and-loss statement. The end of a romance provides a wonderful time to learn about yourself. Look at your assets. For example, the ability to really be there for someone in a crunch. Examine the minuses -- perhaps you were too trusting of someone who hadn't earned it. The bottom line: Analyze what was right and wrong about your old relationship. It will help you forge a much stronger new one.

4. Form a Saturday night club. Weekends are tough for the newly single. Start calling friends early in the week to make plans for the weekend. Have a standing Saturday night date movie or inline skating date. For the volunteer-minded, Saturday night can be a great time to work at a soup kitchen or crisis hotline. And you'll meet others with big hearts and giving spirits.

5. Meet a fascinating woman: yourself. Do the things you've been dying to try or that you'd put on hold because he disapproved of them. Enroll in that acting class, research a new career, take that trip.

6. Beware the rebound hurdle. Just when you thought it was safe to go out with mascara on (no chance of tearstreaks), wham! You're back in love. But try to see this new man for who he is, not as a cure-all. It's like applying balm to a chapped heart -- temporarily soothing, but you don't cure lovesickness by replacing the love object. You've got to really be over your ex before you move on. Which brings us to ...

7. Close the door. Don't fall into yo-yo love. Let it be over. If he keeps calling to say you should give it one more chance, or that he has someone new but wants to stay friends, don't bite. Cut him loose and celebrate the new, improved, I won't-settle-for-anything-less-than-a-great-guy you.

Break Ups

Me myself experienced a break up. It's really hard... It's been a year since it happen but until now, I still can't get over of that happening. Had a break up? This article is for you...


A break-up is the worst stress one can have. Other stresses that match or exceed this are loss of business or job, and death. Break-up causes stress in many ways. The way you lived with your partner and looked at life always together suddenly changes. Earlier both of you were on the same side. After break-up both of you are on the opposite sides of the fence. We begin our relationship with great romantic love. We love what our partner does. We love everything they say and we love working and sleeping with them. We love sharing our ideas with them. At the peak of love, we feel that we were made for each other.

The memories of everything that we shared comes back to haunt us after the break-up. It is difficult for many of us to believe that we are no more together. We may still think about sharing ideas, talking about problems with each other and then realize that we are no more with each other. That is a huge shock. The world turns upside-down. We were always depending upon our partner for many things. That suddenly goes away. It is very difficult to bear this change. The other big change that brings in memories that haunts us is the period of going through the breakup. The spoken words of each other come back in intensity. When you recollect the words your partner spoke while arguing and quarreling with you, you do not know how to believe that it really happened. Because you never expected such words from your partner. During the period of break up you do undergo disbelief that your partner is finding fault with you in many things. But after break-up the memory keeps coming back and creates a hell.

A break-up is one of the worst experiences one can undergo and needs all the will power to become normal again.

yourromanceguide.com

Sad.....

My friend wanted me to send her pics from my phone, so i uploaded them on my pc, it's been a long time since I uploaded pictures from my phone, I don't even have a time to delete some pictures on my phone, everything was just there, so I decided to upload most of them on my pc. Sad thing that pictures from my sad love life in the past was still there, I felt heaviness in my heart again, oh no i'm hurt again, all over again... meaning.. i haven't overcome all those hurtings from the past. I even cried again and i don't understand myself anymore, why is that it hurts so bad... sooo bad, 6 months had past but until when will i be experiencing this burden! *sigh*

Being Friends with your EX

i've been browsing the net and founded some tips on how to be friends with your ex. Making your ex as a friends is hard especially if you had a terrible break up.

Be Patient

All changes in life require time. It can be very hard to get over the anger and trauma and upset of a breakup. Don't expect it to happen right away even if you both want to be friends. Give yourself some healing time first.

Going out with Ex

I went out with my Ex after 6 months,and she told me stories of "friends",that stayed over at her new place.Guy friends.And the dates they had.It just hurt me more.I found out(too late) that she's not breaking my heart any more I'm doing it myself by trying to stay friends.I knew all along that I wanted more than that,but even her telling me she didn't love me like that didn't stop me from trying.

It may never happen

sometimes you may not become friends again. he might learn to get over it except the fact he may fall in love with a differnt girl and you might be just a bug on the windshield of his life. dont let this get you down flirt with other guys and make sure he sees if hes going to hurt you dont let him see it your allowed to flirt but remember he can to I know this is very disapointment but remember there are other guys.

Give it time

I have been able to be great friends with some of my exs. We're even able to share some stories and experiences that happened after our break up. This didn't happen overnight, it took at least 1 yr before we could start talking like this and it was even rough once we reconnected. But if the desire to remain friends is there, then this is possible. Now my exs are the some of the best relationship advisers I have since they know exactly how I am.

Don't Compare Past to Now

All relationships change over time. You grow, you mature. Don't compare what you had before with what you had now. It's like comparing elementary school with high school. They're simply different things. Find joys in what you have now.

-romanceclass

How Can I Dream?

We used to have dreams together, what could be our plans for the future? what's our dream house like? I'm so excited and hoping that time will go straightforward on future when we are living together at last. We used to plan on putting up a big garden, a pond, we both do want that. He's good in designs, one thing that makes me excited. I know our future house would be so nice if he's the one to organize it. I admire him for his talents, not everyone knows it. He can do so many things just like me. He's really my type of guy, a good person, kind heart, good in playing guitar, a talented person, wise and what can i say more??? I don't know now.... Now that we can't be together again, how could i dream like this? I don' feel like dreaming anymore. I just feel sad when i do. I decided to just go on with my life. and whatever happens.. it just happens. I used to dream when we are still together, but now that we broke up, how could i possibly dream?

It's not yet Over

I cried last night coz' I thought it was over.. thought that I'm ok and was able to accept the things that happened.. but still.. its not over yet... We're friends now but it's hurting me still.. I don't want to hope anymore... I just want my heart to fully accept that it was over... oh please heal, my wounded heart, be healed and hurt no more... :(

Heartbreaker 101

Heartbreaker 101: How to Heal and Move On After Breaking Someone's Heart
By Lisa Steadman, The Relationship Journalist

Given the choice, most people say they would much rather break up with someone than get broken up with. But if you've recently initiated a breakup, you know how tough it can be.

Just because you summoned the courage to end your dead-end relationship doesn't mean you're not feeling a little heartache yourself (or experiencing some guilt for causing your ex heartache). But fear not, my brave friend. You are not alone. Following are some do's and don'ts that should make moving on that much easier.

Don't: Call, email, text or visit your ex in a moment of weakness

Even though you brought on the breakup, there may still be times when you miss your ex. A song might come on the radio that reminds you of them. Something funny will happen and you'll want to share it. Or maybe you're just having a bad day and want to reach out and reconnect.

STOP RIGHT THERE. Missing your ex is one thing. Contacting your ex is a no-no. In fact, reconnecting with your ex is the absolute worst thing you can do right now. So before you have that moment of weakness, remove your ex's number from your cell phone, delete their email address, and take them off your social networking contacts. (Right now.)

Do: Ask friends for help

Because you initiated the breakup, your friends may not know that you're hurting. But if you are, it's important to ask for help, a.k.a. recruit your boo hoo crew... You'll want to choose a least three friends who know you well enough to know when you need comfort versus when you need a kick in the pants.

Your Boo-Hoo Crew should always know (and be able to remind you) why your ex wasn't good for you then, and why they're definitely not worth pining over now.

Don't: Second-guess your decision

After a breakup, it's all too easy to second-guess yourself and your choices. Did I do the right thing? Should I have given him/her another chance? Maybe there was more I could do to make it work... The truth is, you can make yourself crazy second-guessing your decision. But what's done is done. You had your reasons, made your decision, and now it's time to accept and move on.

Do: See your breakup for what it really is

You may not know it right now, but in ending your relationship with the wrong person, you're paving the way to meet the right one. Chances are good that you won't meet Mr. or Ms. Right overnight, but that doesn't mean the breakup was a bad decision.

By walking away from that wrong relationship, you're headed towards a life that's more honest and authentic for you. What better way to eventually attract your perfect partner than by living and loving your own life?

Don't: Badmouth your ex

In the aftermath of a breakup it's all too easy to badmouth your ex, spilling their dirty little secrets to anyone who will listen. Don't do it. Badmouthing your ex may feel good momentarily, but the fallout from those harmless snarky comments can be detrimental to your healing process, not to mention your dating future. Breakup karma is a bitch you don't want coming after you, so zip the lip and move on with dignity.

Do: Become a breakup rock star

And speaking of moving on, did you know that you can not only survive your breakup but actually thrive? By applying the lessons you learned from your last relationship, and refining what you want out of life and eventually from your perfect partner, you have the chance to reclaim yourself and become the ultimate breakup rock star. So go ahead, rock on!

How to Mend Your Broken Heart

Don't Get Down on Yourself

After a breakup, people tend to plummet into a pit of low self-esteem and guilt. You are looking for reasons why the relationship ended, and you start obsessing and blaming yourself. "Maybe I was too hard on her for canceling dinner with my parents" or "Maybe I shouldn't have yelled at him when he came home late without calling."

This kind of negative thinking spirals out of control quickly. You may start feeling you're not attractive enough or funny enough or just plain good enough to be with that person, which isn't true. Sit down. Take a breath. And STOP this negative thinking right now! This isn't to say that you shouldn't reflect on your role in the relationship. Just be kinder to yourself!

Forget About Being Friends

Anything that has the word "friend" in it, forget about. "Friends with benefits," "Just friends" -- just say "No." It's hard to move on when you are still keeping one foot in the past. It's time to rely on your other friends for support and get out there and make new friends. You won't be as quick to accept an invite to a party or call an old high school friend if you are busy with your ex.

Stop Thinking They're "All That"

When a relationship is over, it's easier to think of the good times as opposed to the bad times. The annoying habits and bad character traits seem to recede into the background. All you can think about is the great chemistry and the fun Saturday nights you had going out to your fave Italian restaurant together.

What you're doing is idealizing the relationship now that it's gone. You're turning it into some blockbuster movie romance when at best it was a B movie with mixed reviews. Start looking at it with more objectivity. Remind yourself of the fights you had and the frustration you felt.

Start Dating Again

Post breakup, some people might advise you to work on yourself and forget about the dating scene for a while. And if that's what you feel like doing, no problem. However, this isn't good for everyone and there is nothing wrong with getting back out there sooner rather than later. Emailing a person you met online or going on a dinner date may be just the thing you need to lift your spirits. Of course, this doesn't mean you should dive into anything right away either. Start by getting your feet wet.

Never Lose Hope
When you are hurting after a breakup, it's easy to tell yourself, "I'll never meet anyone this fabulous again" or "I'll never find anyone." But the reality is, you WILL meet someone and, eventually, you will wind up in a better relationship. If this one was healthy and meant to be, you wouldn't be broken up. If you maintain hope and don't give into the hurt, you can pursue and find what you are

-from yahoopersonals